The social atmosphere in the studio is simultaneously the same and very different from the social atmospheres at school, in the office, and at home. Students often act the same way toward their friends and teachers at the dance school as they do toward their friends and teachers at academic school or toward their siblings and parents at home. Because dance is a visual art, everyone's triumphs and struggles are much more apparent than they are in a classroom or office setting. This can lead to some awkward situations that often result in inappropriate behavior. In this guide, I will lay out some common happenings and explain the best ways to react.
(Note: I have seen some of these situations play out in real life. I am NOT telling exact firsthand stories, and the names I have assigned the '"characters" are generic ones meant to make the situations easier to follow.)
1. Cara and Chris are making fun of how Sam landed his pirouette. It looks like Sam messed up. Are Cara and Chris being mean? Is it ok for you to laugh too?
It can be uncomfortable when dancers are making fun of others, but sometimes this kind of teasing is not malicious. If Cara, Chris, and Sam are all friends; Sam is laughing too; they would probably laugh or behave similarly if someone else made the same mistake; and the mistake was a rare, genuinely comical error, then everything is fine. Cara and Chris are not being mean. It's ok for you to laugh too.
If Cara and Chris are not friends with Sam, they would probably not laugh at someone else, Sam seems hurt or upset, or Sam makes a lot of mistakes like that, then Cara and Chris are not being kind. You should not join in.
2. Tammy practices different steps and movements all the time during class, even when the teacher is giving instructions. Is she disrespecting the teacher? Is it ok for you to do that too?
If Tammy is briefly working on a step she messed up in the last combination or doing a generic, easy movement like balancing on one foot, it's fine that she keeps moving. If she is looking at the teacher, she is probably listening and getting the information she needs for the next part of class. It's ok for you to do that too as long as you are paying attention to the teacher and not infringing on anyone else's space. If the teacher asks you to stop or pay closer attention, do so immediately.
If Tammy is doing large jumps or pirouettes, infringing on others' space, or ignoring the teacher so that she is lost during the next combination, she is being disrespectful. Do not follow her example.
3. Joe, one of the most advanced dancers, just executed a combination very well. Should you clap or congratulate him? Is it ok that you feel jealous?
If Joe is humbly pleased with his performance, he absolutely deserves praise. If the rest of the class is clapping, join in. If you are friends with Joe and know his performance was truly stellar for him, personally tell him it he did a good job. It's absolutely ok to feel a tiny bit jealous, but don't let it hurt your relationship. Rather than thinking about how good of a dancer Joe is, try to notice things in his technique that make him successful (like snappy spotting making pirouettes look sharp). Try to apply these things to your own technique.
If Joe is acting stuck up or is otherwise begging for compliments after his successful combination, you should still clap if everyone else does. Don't feel obligated to give him a personal compliment, though. Make a mental note to remain humble after you give great performances.
4. Sara, one of the less advanced dancers, just did a good double pirouette. This is excellent for her, but is below the level of most of the rest of the class. Should you give her a compliment? Or will that make her feel bad?
If you are friends with Sara, compliment her quietly when you have a moment between combinations or after class. She will probably feel good knowing that you noticed her success. Yelling out "good job" in front of everyone else may emphasize her level and embarrass her, so it's best to wait to compliment her.
If you're not friends, it's your choice if you want to compliment her or not. Regardless of your relationship, never make any rude comments (like, "Sara FINALLY got her double"); this will undoubtedly make her feel bad.
5. Nancy, a senior student, is teaching a piece of her own choreography for the show. One section of the choreography feels awkward to you, and you'd don't like it. Is it ok to tell her?
If you feel comfortable, ask Nancy to go over the section again. Tell her that you would like more direction on musicality or emotion. This may make it feel less awkward, and it will let her know that you are having trouble connecting with that section. At this point, Nancy is the choreographer and you are the dancer, and you both need to stick to your roles (even if you are the same age or in the same level). Telling her directly (without her asking) that you don't like the choreography is out of line.
If you and Nancy are friends and she asks you personally if you like her choreography, feel free to respectfully say that you don't like that section. Don't offer advice on how to improve it unless she asks.
6. You are telling Ella about the blisters you got from the pointe classes at your summer intensive. Ella insists that she got worse blisters at her summer intensive. You think she might be lying or exaggerating. Should you give her another example of how your program was more difficult or intense?
If you are friends with Ella and/or know her to be competitive, don't encourage her to keep "one-upping" you by continuing the conversation. Switch to telling her something you loved about your intensive, or say that you both probably improved your pointework with your difficult intensive classes.
If you are not friends with Ella, or if she is annoying you, just say something like , "Oh, ok," and let the subject go. She probably wants to keep arguing about whose program was more difficult, so this should stop her from continuing. Remember that if Ella is lying, nothing she is saying really matters, and you have nothing to prove by arguing with her. Move on and try not to let her statements bother you.
7. Cast lists are up! Emily is one of the most advanced students, and she frequently gets big parts in ballets. She has been cast as the lead in the upcoming show. Jessie is less advanced, and she wasn't cast at all. You got a smaller part in the ballet, which is consistent with your level. Should you feel jealous of Emily? Should you feel bad for Jessie?
If Emily is acting humble and/or you are friends, it's appropriate to congratulate her. If you have class together or if you see her, quietly saying "congratulations" is the right thing to do. As with Joe's example above, take Emily's technique as a an example of excellence, and try to incorporate some of her attributes into your own dancing. It's ok to feel a little jealous, but don't let it change how you treat her.
If Emily is acting stuck up or you not friends, you should still say congratulations (in a kind, heartfelt way, not a mean way)if you see her. You do not have to be excited for her, but you do have to behave nicely or neutrally toward her. You are in the show together after all.
If you are friends with Jessie, acknowledge the situation by saying something like, "I'm sad that we aren't in the show together. Maybe we will be next season." Don't mention her level unless Jessie brings it up first. Try to cheer her up by hanging out outside of dance.
If you aren't friends with Jessie , don't say anything to her. She could interpret it as malicious if you suddenly express sympathy that she wasn't cast when you usually don't talk to each other. Never say anything condescending about Jessie or her abilities.
8. Abby is having trouble with her balance in arabesque. You are beside her, and you can tell exactly what she is doing wrong. Should you tell her?
If you and Abby are friends and you regularly help each other out with out any frustration, you should tell her. If she asks you for advice or says something like "I just couldn't get it," you can tell her what needs fixing. Just be sure to stay positive. Don't insinuate that she should have known better or that she was doing a bad job/not trying.
If Abby has a history of getting frustrated when criticized, it's better to stay quiet. If you generally don't talk to each other or if Abby is older or more advanced than you are, it's also better to stay quiet. Your correction, though well-meaning, can be interpreted as a an insult. It's the teacher's job to give corrections, so it could seem like you are trying to say that you are above Abby or even above the teacher.
9. You misplaced your black skirt at the studio last week. In class today, you see Mia wearing a black skirt that looks like yours. Should you confront her?
You should kindly ask Mia about it, regardless of your relationship. Say, "I lost my skirt like that last week. You didn't accidentally pick it up, did you?" If you know your skirt has your name it or has another distinguishing detail, ask to check it out. If Mia refuses, ask a teacher or other adult to mediate the situation and help you take a look at the skirt. If it turns out to be yours, ask (or kindly insist) to have it back. Thank Mia and forgive her for her mistake. (Even if you think she took it on purpose, don't be accusatory in front of her. You can talk to a parent or teacher about it later.)
If it turns out not to be your skirt, apologize and move on. If it's impossible to tell (you know a few people in class have exactly the same garment), don't push the issue. Thank Mia for letting you look and move on. Don't hold it against her, but stay aware if any other items go missing.
10. The teacher always gives Ryan a lot of compliments in class. Betty rarely gets compliments, and the teacher is always correcting her. You get a good balance of corrections and compliments. Should you be jealous of Ryan? Should you feel bad for Betty?
It's natural to want to be complimented, so jealousy and sympathy are common emotions in this situation. If the teacher is inexperienced, she may not realize that she is giving un-balanced feedback. However, the teacher may be doing this on purpose. She may know that Ryan needs a lot of encouragement to give his best effort. Betty may want to train professionally, in which case she needs a stricter program than other students. Regardless of the teacher's intent, it's not your place to decide who needs to be complimented.
If you are friends with Betty and you notice she seems down about getting corrected, give her a personal compliment after class every once in a while. You can also encourage her to speak privately with the teacher and express a desire to have her successes acknowledged alongside her errors.
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