Boys and Ballet: tips for parents with young sons

Over the past several years, I've had many questions from parents of young boys.  "I want my son to dance," and "My son wants to dance," are common sentiments.  The problem comes in when parents and children begin to consider gender boundaries.  It's a common misconception that only girls do ballet, or that the only boys who do ballet are gay.  Here are some facts about gender and ballet with emphasis on children's primary programs.

1.       All ballet studios and schools have girls' and boys' (or gender-neutral) bathrooms and changing rooms.  This may be obvious basic information, but it's a common belief that dance studios only have accommodations for girls.

2.       Similarly, all ballet studios allow boys.  Some schools even give special discounts for male students.  At more advanced levels, boys may train separately from girls.  In most young children's classes, boys and girls take class together. (However, some more popular elite schools like SAB in New York City start out with boys and girls in separate primary divisions.) 

3.       There will almost always be more girls than boys in class.  I wish things were more equal, but that's just the way most kids' classes are right now.  If a boy is comfortable being with female friends, he will be just fine in ballet class.  If a boy generally only plays with other boys, this is a great opportunity for him to learn that girls can have common interests and be fun to play with too.

4.       Some of ballet is male and female-specific.  Only men do some movements (certain jumps, turns, etc., which are usually very athletic, sharp, and masculine), and only women do others.  However, the majority of ballet basics are not gender specific.  Most of what kids learn in beginning classes is the basis of all of balletic movements.  When boys and girls are between ages 8 and 12, they will usually begin taking at least some classes separately. 

5.       Male ballet students will never be expected or forced to do "female" things/movements (such as female fouettes, pointework, and wearing tutus).  However, if a male student is curious or wants to try these things, he will usually be allowed.  Very masculine boys who do not want to do feminine things are well accommodated.  Children with a more fluid understanding of gender boundaries are also well accommodated.

6.       Ballet has nothing to do with homosexuality.  Doing ballet does not make a boy gay.  Yes, some male dancers are gay, but there are also plenty of lesbian dancers and gay male engineers and chefs and actors…  As I stated earlier, most male-specific ballet movements are very sharp, athletic, and masculine.  They usually involve moving quickly, jumping very high, and traveling great distances in a few steps.  In classical story ballets, male characters are almost exclusively heterosexual, "manly" characters like kings, princes, soldiers, and pirates who usually pursue and protect pretty princesses.  When male dancers begin to perform soloist and principal roles, dancers with more masculine technique tend to excel, and dancers with more effeminate qualities sometimes have more trouble with the mannerisms of their characters.

7.       Male ballet students do have to wear opaque tights or form-fitting pants/shorts.  This is so teachers can easily see and correct a student's movements.  Female students wear leotards and sheer tights for the same reason.  There is nothing feminine about men's dance tights or men's dancewear in general.  Elite male gymnasts, cyclists, and swimmers often wear similar garments with no questions of masculinity.

8.       Boys who don't dance often don't understand how male dancers fit into the larger picture of ballet.  They should read this article and educate themselves before making any judgements.  When male ballet students reach middle school age (about 11 or 12), it's common for their classmates to begin to tease them.  This doesn't always happen, but if it does, it can be tough for the dancer.  The most important thing to remember is that the students doing the teasing are the ones who are wrong, not the dancer.  Dancing has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender identity, and people who think it does are quite badly mistaken.