First pointe shoes: a guide for parents

This post will explain what parents can expect when their daughters begin pointe for the first time, as well as a list of do’s and don’ts that will help the experience go smoothly.

First thing’s first:  DO let the teacher tell you when your daughter is ready for pointe.  DON’T make that judgment yourself (unless you are her dance teacher), and DON’T rely just on your daughter reporting to you that she is ready.  It is ok to casually ask the dance teacher at what age most students begin pointe work or if she thinks your child will be ready soon.  It is not ok to demand that your daughter be placed in a pointe class.  Although it is rare, I have seen young girls lie to their parents about being ready for pointe shoes.  If this is not information you have been expecting, confirm with the teacher that your child is really ready before purchasing shoes. 

If the teacher says she is ready, DO expect your daughter to be excited out of her mind.

The teacher may ask you to take your daughter to the doctor and/or have her feet and legs x-rayed before getting the shoes.  This is to make sure your child is healthy and strong enough for pointe.  DO schedule an appointment right away.  In about 99% of cases, doctors say that dancers are good to go.  In the unlikely case that the doctor says that pointe is a bad idea, get a second opinion.  If this doc also doesn’t like the idea of your daughter going en pointe, DON’T get pointe shoes.  DO comfort your daughter in her disappointment and help her try contemporary or another dance style that does not use pointe shoes.

DO schedule your daughter a professional pointe shoe fitting at a dancewear store.  DO invite the teacher to come along with you.  DO research pointe shoes on the internet before you have the fitting, but DON’T get carried away.  DON’T purchase pointe shoes online.

DO attend the fitting appointment with your daughter.  DO pay attention and ask questions.  DON’T take over the fitting, speak for your child, or criticize the fitter, even if you have dance expertise.   DO expect to pay $150 or more for pointe shoes, toe pads, ribbon and elastic, stitch kit, and a pointe shoe bag.  DO expect to make such purchases several times a year for the remainder of your child’s dance education.  If you can, DO celebrate your daughter’s achievement with an additional gift like a new fancy leotard or a nice dinner at a restaurant. 

DON’T talk extensively about your daughter’s pointe shoes to other dancers who are not en pointe (or their parents), and encourage your daughter to do the same.  DO answer questions you are asked, and DO show your happiness, but DON’T brag.

DO have your daughter show her pointe shoes to her teacher before sewing or wearing if the teacher didn’t attend the fitting.  DON’T sew your daughter’s pointe shoes for her.  DO check with the teacher to see if she wants students to sew their shoes at home or as a project in class.  DON’T let your daughter go en pointe at home unless the teacher has assigned specific exercises.  DO let her put her feet in her pointe shoes and practice tying her ribbons.  

DON’T be surprised if your daughter doesn’t dance en pointe for a week or so after she gets her shoes.  Many teachers spend time teaching students about pointe shoes in a more academic way.  DON’T be surprised if your daughter only dances en pointe for about 10 minutes per class.  DO know the brand, model, size, width, shank, and other specifications of your daughter’s pointe shoes in case a teacher asks you.  It is a great idea to make a note of this information in your smartphone.

DO expect your daughter to get blisters and experience discomfort in her pointe shoes.  DON’T blame the fitter or teacher for this.  No pointe shoe is “comfortable,” and with a student’s first pair of shoes, it is impossible to know what attributes will work out in the long run.  DO offer Band-Aids, toe tape, and comfort to soothe sore toes.

DON’T expect her to look very graceful en pointe for the first several weeks or pointe class.  DON’T expect your daughter to perform en pointe in a recital or ballet for at least 6 months.  DO congratulate her for reaching small milestones like doing pointework away from the barre for the first time.

DO expect your daughter to wear out or grow out of her pointe shoes within 4-6 months of her first fitting.  DON’T be surprised if the teacher or fitter tells you that she needs a totally different kind of shoe; it is very common for dancers’ feet to change as they grow and strengthen. 

Above all, DO remember to have fun with your daughter on this exciting new adventure!