Holiday gift-giving: merde gifts and more

If you are in a performance of The Nutcracker or another winter show, it can be little tough to figure out how to give gifts to your teachers and friends.  It is customary to give small gifts (candy, pencils, etc.) to your fellow dancers for luck on opening night of any show.  During the winter season, many people also like to give out Christmas or other holiday gifts.  How many gifts should you give out?  And to whom?  In this post, I answer basic questions and outline some ways you can navigate holiday gift giving and your winter performances.

What are Merde gifts?

The idea is to give your fellow dancers a little something to make them happy before the opening performance.  This custom applies to all shows, not just Nutcracker or winter programs.

 (In case you don’t already know, merde is French swear word that means poo.  Ballet and other dancers say it to each other before shows to mean “good luck.”) 

Are merde gifts necessary? 

Absolutely not.  If you are on a tight budget or think merde gifts are stupid (which they are), you can skip and go for holiday gifts only.  However, if you are in a company where everyone gives merde gifts, you may be seen as unfriendly if you don’t participate.   

What should I buy to give out as merde gifts?

Usually silly or fun things are a good and inexpensive choice. It is also a good idea to get a large quantity of merde gifts so you can pass them out to everyone in the company (some people, especially young kids, get upset when they see others receiving gifts and they are left out).  Some things I have received in the past are: toy dinosaurs, a mini rubber duck, candy (lots of times), a small Christmas ornament, Epsom salts, chapstick, and hand sanitizer. 

When do I hand out the gifts?

You must hand out merde gifts on opening night before the show or they are no longer merde gifts.

What are holiday gifts?

Holiday gifts are the things you would give your teachers and friends for Christmas or to celebrate the winter season.  It is ok to give these gifts to only your close friends.  However, it is a good idea to give a present to everyone in your class or everyone dancing with you in “waltz of the flowers” so you don’t leave anyone out (and if anyone asks you why they didn’t get a gift, it’s a lot kinder to say “I was only giving them to dancers in my class” rather than “I don’t consider you my friend”).

What should I get my friends?

 I like to use the “goodie bag” model when putting together gifts for my friends.  A few chocolates, a packet of ribbon and elastic, a lip gloss, and a couple of festive tea bags make a great goodie bag that is sure to delight everyone.  You can also get each friend an individual gift, like a small stuffed animal or piece of jewelry. 

What should I get my teacher?

For teachers, I recommend nice Hallmark cards with handwritten notes thanking them for teaching you.  If you want to give a gift, make it a gift card to the dancewear store or coffee shop (that crystal ballerina figurine may be tempting, but your teacher probably already has a lot of dance knick knacks). 

How much should I spend?

If you are passing out gifts in public (at the studio or in the dressing rooms at the theater), don’t spend more than about $10 on each person.  If you have a large, bulky, or expensive gift to give, do so in private.

Anything else about what to get?

 Unless your company is openly religious, don’t assume that everyone celebrates Christmas in a Christian way (or celebrates Christmas at all).  You don’t need to go out of your way to get your Jewish friend a menorah card, but be aware that giving her a nativity card may not be the most sensitive choice.  If you can find Nutcracker, ballet/dance, winter, or “commercial Christmas” themed gifts, they are the best for mass appeal. 

Don’t include candy or food containing nuts if your friends have allergies or braces. 

It’s also really sweet to know your friends’ favorite colors or other likes and base their gifts around their preferences.

When should I give out holiday gifts? 

Mid-December or as close to Christmas as possible. 

Can holiday gifts be combined with merde gifts for one compact gift giving experience? 

Yes, if the timing is right.  If your show is in December, give out all your gifts on opening night (you can also just give out holiday gifts on opening night and skip separate merde gifts if you wish).  If your winter show is really early (like Thanksgiving weekend) and you will continue to see your friends and teachers at the studio through December, give out your merde gifts on opening night and wait to give out holiday gifts until closer to Christmas.

Any last thoughts?

If someone gives you a gift (of any kind) and you don’t like it, thank that person anyway and take the gift home with you.  Then you can throw it away or re-gift it to someone outside the company.  DO NOT give it to someone else in the company; I guarantee the gift-giver will notice and he or she will not be happy.