Help! My daughter wants to wear her dance shoes everywhere!

It’s common for young children new to dance to want to wear their new dance shoes all the time.  While it can be adorable, it is not acceptable for children to wear dance shoes outside the studio (this includes the studio parking lot).  Some dance shoes are unsafe to wear on surfaces other than a dance floor.  Others are safe, but they wear out/get dirty quickly, and it is extremely disrespectful to the art of dance to wear them on the street (even if you see Kim Kardashian’s daughter doing it).  It is important for you to introduce this standard and make sure your daughter follows it. 

When you buy brand new dance shoes, don’t allow your daughter to wear them out of the store.  She must take them off and put her regular shoes back on.  If she is disappointed, allow her to carry the new shoes (out of the box if she wants to admire them) instead. 

If your daughter wants to wear her dance shoes when you go out, like to church, school, or the grocery store, do not allow her to do so.  Make sure she understands that saying “no” is not about being mean, but about keeping her shoes from getting yucky and respecting the art of dance.  Most children will understand after this is explained a few times.  If your daughter consistently continues to ask to wear her dance shoes out, try getting her a pair of patent-leather mary-jane dress shoes that resemble her taps, or a set of pale pink flats that look like ballet shoes.  This can help her feel like a dancer all the time while protecting her actual dance shoes.

If she wants to wear her dance shoes at home, this can be ok in some situations.  First, make sure you have a surface that is safe to dance on (not too slippery—dance shoes generally have little traction) and will not get damaged or damage the shoes (carpet can damage ballet and jazz shoes, and wood/tile/linoleum floors can get scratched by taps and flamenco shoes).  If you have such an area, tell her it’s ok to wear her dance shoes if she wants to practice dancing.  It is not ok to wear dance shoes while just “hanging out” at home.  When she is done dancing, she needs to take her dance shoes off.  If you don’t have a good area to practice dance, explain this to her and encourage her to practice while wearing a different dancewear item (skirt, etc.) or redirect her to another activity.

When you are on your way to dance class, have your daughter carry her dance shoes in her dance bag.  She can put them on when you get there.  Even if you think it will save time, do not put her dance shoes on her before you leave for class.  It is still dirty and disrespectful to walk across the parking lot in dance shoes, and there is something kind of pathetic about watching a perfectly capable 5-year-old get carried from the car to the studio because she already has her dance shoes on.

It’s natural for children to be unaware of and not care for this important rule about protecting and respecting dance shoes.  Don’t be surprised if your daughter resists a little at first.  With a little direction and encouragement, she will be taking good care of her dance shoes in no time.